I can’t take it anymore. I’m the worst person out there. And no one understands. I don’t expect them to. I don’t even use the right words to say what I really mean. It always takes me forever to actually get what I wanted to say out. Everyone who reads this should just take this as a warning to never ever be my friend. Don’t talk to me. Just shut me out, maybe I’ll finally wake up from this stupid, crazy world of mine I’ve created and dreamed of.

I need to learn to be the person I am. I need to cry a river, build a bridge, and get over every fucking little thing that’s keeping me from being the best I can be and live up to the potential that some people tell me I have. I want to be able to reach my own expectations that are buried deep inside somewhere.

I’ve realized in the past few months that the only expectations I should ever need to live up to, are my own. I make my own. And I make me. Somewhere inside me, I know I can do this. I need to get those stupid damn voices out of my head already, and fight past the obstacles in my way, even if it’s I’m one of them. Stress is a decision, not a destiny. I can choose whether or I’m severely affected or influenced by something. And finally, I’m going to decide what I should do. I’m going to do things that make me happy, not just others around me. Only I can decide what makes me happy.

This tumblr isn’t even safe anymore. I can’t even speak my feelings without someone trying to give me advice when I don’t want it, or someone getting angry or depressed or whatever by my wrong choice of words and emotional posts. I can’t even speak out what my mind and heart really wants to say partially because of the people who follow me, and - what’s the point if I can’t even get the right words out of my stupid mouth? I might as well just be mute for the rest of my life. Can’t sing well anyway. Therefore,
I’m going on hiatus. So if anyone wants to unfollow me, go ahead. Don’t care about followers anyway. This tumblr is going to be dead for many months to come. Maybe I’ll come back sometime in senior year, just to see how different I’ve become. Maybe not. But all I know is that this tumblr is currently almost useless to me and contradicts the reason I made/used it. Goodbye, tumblr. See you in a while - or maybe never again. Maybe I’ll become a wandering ghost in Mother Nature, but who really knows?

(Source: howemmaseesit)

I get it. You must be in a bad mood. It’s rare for you to ever be in a good mood. But you don’t need to pass on your negativity on to me, whether intentionally or not. I’ve already had enough in the past 2 weeks to fuel a hell lot of anger. And you need to let yourself be happy rather than linger on the past and your old mistakes. Then you’d be able to see the bright things in your future. I’m not always going to just keep being optimistic and positive towards you - I shouldn’t have to - because really, you’re the only one who can convince yourself, persuade yourself, and allow yourself to be happy, and content with yourself. I can only do so much. I care too much about others around me than I care about myself. I think it’s finally time for me to try to make myself happy.

(Source: sephirona)

lynndelacruz:

You know what’s really weird? The fact that you’ll never actually be able to see yourself in real life. Like you can see yourself in mirrors and reflections but you’ll never in your life see what you really look like.

(Source: niggapus)

Ummm I have a lot of hobbies, actually… I’m not that good at any of them though, so that doesn’t really help >.< Yeah I’ve been trying to be a little more open to some people, but I guess it just takes a lot of time, and I just need to get over my trust issues. Thank you!! <3 

That’s okay haha :)
1: What is the real reason you are confused right now?
Well there’s more than one. Me, friends, and boys (lol). 
14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
Myself. And someone who shall not be named, but it’s not really letting me down so much as unreliable sometimes.
17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
I don’t hate anyone.
19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
Sort of (?)
20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
“Wait for friend’s text..”
26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?
Black and white…
27: Do people ever call you by your last name?
ALL THE TIMEEEE
50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?
Because I haven’t thrown myself in the shark pit yet by admitting I like someone. And I don’t pursue/I am an awkward person/confused person.
71: Does the last song you listened to remind you of anyone?
Yes. A friend. 

‎Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or even a year; but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it will last forever.

Lance Armstrong —

(Source: staypozitive)

That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.

Paulo Coelho  (via saluteyourteam)

(Source: thecoolofnight)

(Source: leilockheart)

dreamongood:

I hear people outside, and I see people walk by. But it feels like they don’t exist. It’s like when you’re watching a movie, and you only pay attention to the main characters—the extras in the background are irrelevant. You barely even notice them, they’re just a blur. I guess it’s like I’m the main star of my own film, the people who I meet are the supporting actors, and everyone else doesn’t matter. 

Well someone’s curious.
5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?
Doing hw…
23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
..I don’t even know.
36: Do you have any summer plans yet?
Sort of. But so many things to do, yet so little time !
39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?
Everyone does.
40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
Never kissed anyone.
41: Do you think age matters in relationships?
Barely. Unless the person could be your dad or mom or whatever…then that’s just creepy. o-o
45: Do you believe exes can be friends?
I’m living proof :P We’re not super good friends or anything, but maybe like once a month or in a few months, we check up on each other or say hi randomly or whatever. It really depends on your personality, cuz this is just my opinion.
60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
No…that’s why I’ve never kissed anyone before lol.
79: What did you dream of last night?
Unfortunately, nothing :/

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
I used to >.<
3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
Well first of all, my significant other wouldn’t be smoking pot. I don’t judge or anything, but I’m not exactly attracted to someone who could possibly die before me and have black lungs and such.
32: Are you mad at anyone?
Kinda.